It isn’t uncommon for children to experience anxiety about going back to school. For example, some may feel nervous about starting school for the first time, attending a new school, acceptance, or bullying. Many issues, such as minor social anxiety, can be addressed at home without much difficulty. Higher levels of anxiety may be an indicator of a more serious problem. That problem could be a specific situation and/or your child may require counselling to move on.
Parents can help ease the transition back to school by recognizing the symptoms of stress and anxiety and implementing some creative strategies. Once the issues are identified, you can decide if further steps are needed. When it comes to bullying, awareness and diligence are critical.
Dr Matthew Lederman, a board-certified Internal Medicine physician, expert in empathetic communication and NVC practitioner, recommends Nonviolent Communication (NVC) as a powerful tool that can help ease the transition. Nonviolent Communication can foster a stronger and more meaningful connection between parents and children, as it empowers parents and children to express emotions, needs, and concerns more effectively.
Dr Matthew Lederman shares some practical tips and strategies for parents to incorporate NVC techniques in their interactions with their children, when going back to school. Here are some steps you can follow:
1. Present a Safe Space: To create a safe space for your child, find a quiet place in the house where you can talk without distractions. Let your child know that he or she can discuss any concerns or feelings in this space. Avoid distractions from phones or television, or other members of the family. Focus on listening and being present with your child instead of thinking about what you need to do to fix the situation.
2. Do Not Interrupt: When listening to a child’s concerns, be sure not to interrupt or judge. Show empathy by nodding, maintaining eye contact and using verbal cues like “I see,” or “That sounds tough.” This will help your child feel heard and validated.
3. Validation: You can help the other person feel understood and less alone by validating their feelings. For example, you might say, “It sounds like you’re feeling anxious about going back to school and worried about fitting in. Is that right?”
4. Encourage Sharing: Encourage your child to share his or her concerns and fears about returning to school by asking questions that require more than a yes or no response. For example, you might ask, “What specifically worries you about going back to school?” Most suffering stems not from unpleasant feelings but from holding unpleasant feelings alone.
5. Find Solutions, Together: Brainstorm with your child about possible solutions to their problem. Listen to what they have to say, and let them know that you value their input and trust their ability to care for their own needs. This will empower them to solve problems on their own in the future.
6. Try a Mantra: Mantras are positive affirmations or phrases that can be repeated to a child when he or she is feeling anxious. Examples include “I am capable and strong,” or “I can handle anything that comes my way.” This helps regulate the nervous system and create self-connection that stimulates a sense of safety.
7. Encourage Self-Care: Help your child develop self-care routines to manage stress and anxiety. Encourage them to practice deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, physical exercise, or engaging in hobbies they enjoy. Taking care of their well-being can help them feel more resilient and grounded.
Bullying in Canadian Schools
There is no question that bullying can be a huge problem in Canadian schools, but awareness has improved the situation in recent years. The biggest bullying threat to today’s youth is the internet, and it’s the most difficult to control. In 2019, 25 percent of Canadian youth reported being cyberbullied in the past year. In certain segments that number skyrockets, be it due to racism, identity, or learning challenges.
While any young person can be bullied online, the chances of it happening naturally increases with the amount of time spent on the internet and social media. However, parental supervision and guidance greatly reduces the risk of being cyberbullied. While it’s certainly easier said than done, the more aware parents are of their child’s online activities, the less likely they are to become victims of cyberbullying.
To sum it all up, there are three ways to address back-to-school anxiety:
- Communication
- Awareness and supervision
- Guidance and help addressing identified issues
You’ll find lots of books that will help you navigate and treat anxiety in children, but be sure to choose those that are written by experts in the field.
Has your child experienced back-to-school anxiety? Please share your experience or questions in the comments below.
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